From: [golemgir r l] at [aol.com] (GolemGirrl)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.archives
Subject: SUPPLEMENT: New net.freebie RPG complete in this post!
Followup-To: rec.games.frp.misc
Date: 20 Aug 1995 12:58:02 -0400

ROLF: The Rollplaying Game of Big Dumb Fighters

Design by: L.L. Hundal ** Special Thanks To: Steve Miller

THE LEGAL STUFF!

NUELOW is a trademark owned by Steve Miller, and is used with permission.
Copyright 1995 by L.L. Hundal. All Rights Reserved. Permission granted for
non-profit electronic redistribution, provided all credits and
acknowledgments of ownership are left intact. 
Version 1.0, released August, 1995.

THE GAME!

1.0: Introduction
  Rolf is a stupid-simple combat game where the object is to kill the
other guy before he kills you, and possibly get a little roleplaying in on
the side. (But that's entirely secondary to dice-rolling and
munchy-chewing.) This game has been designed with gamers in mind, and we
know what you want--sex and violence, and this game gives you the
opportunity to send your imaginary characters through both. Heck, it even
includes three pregenerated characters (the title character Rolf, his
arch-enemy Ralf, and the beautiful warrior maiden known as Rebah) so you
don't even half to spend time generating characters! So, get the munchies,
dice, and settle down to play!

1.1: Background
  The setting for ROLF is the kingdom of Gog. After centuries of war with
the neighboring land of Magog, the land was recently devastated by a
terrible dragon created by foul Magogian magics. Most Gogites were slain,
and many of those who lived were transformed into hideous critters by the
magical radiation emanating from the dragon. Now, only a handful of humans
still survive, and they are locked in combat over food, water, and human
sextoys so that the land may be repopulated.

2.0: Creating Characters
  Since this is a game of combat, character generation is so simple it
takes no more than 10 minutes. All you have to worry about are three
Attributes: Brawn, Body, and Brains.
  *To determine your character's Brawn, roll 2d20 (two 20-sided dice).
This Attribute represents his (or hers, no sexism here) raw muscle-power.
This is also the number of damage points a character can take before he
(or she) is dead.
  *To determine a characters Body, roll 2d10. This Attribute represents
his (or hers, am I not a good little PC game designer?) This represents
how good-looking, toned, and physically attractive the character is.
  *The one Attribute that's a bit complicated to generate is the
character's brains. Before this is rolled, you have to decide whether the
character is male or female. The kind of dice that is rolled to determine
the character's brain varies by the character's sex. Male characters (like
Rolf and Ralf) roll 2d4, while female characters receive 2d6 worth of
Brains. This is the most realistic aspect of Rolf--that women are smarter
than men. (See... I'm a REALLY good little PC game designer!) Brains
determines how many Combat Maneuvers and Other Stuff (see 3.2 for details)
the character knows, as well as how intelligent he (or she) is.
  And that's it. Once you have those three Attributes written down on a
piece of paper, you're on the verge of bloody battles.

3.0 Attribute Checks
  All actions in ROLF are governed by a character's Attributes. While dice
need not to be rolled to determine if a character can cross an empty
street safely, swinging across that same street on a vine might be call
for a Brawn Attribute Check. The same is true of using weapons, doing
cartwheels, and so on.
  Attribute Checks are made by rolling 2d6, adding the result, and
comparing it to the appropriate Attribute. (Section 3.2 elaborates on this
rule.) 

3.1 Weapons and Armor (Stuff)
  There are few things in ROLF that are more important than things to kill
with, and things to protect a character from getting killed. Each newly
created character should roll a 2d4. The number rolled is how many pieces
of equipment he (or she) gets from the following list of stuff.

Table 1: List of Stuff

Stuff                              Damage                                
Description
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------
Sword, Huge                  4 points                                 
Sharp, heavy, deadly
Sword, Regular              2 points                                 
Sharp, lighter, still deadly
Sword, Small                 1 point                                   
Child's toy
Spiked Club                    2 points                                  
Backup weapon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------
Mace, Huge                    5 points                                  
Spiked bowling ball on metal post
Mace, Regular                3 points                                  
Bowling ball on wooden handle
Loincloth                           --                                    
      Barely covers nakedness
Crossbow, Regular         4 points                                  
Ignores all armor, ranged
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------
Crossbow, Small            1 point                                    
Ignores all armor, ranged
Clothes                              --                                   
       Covers nakedness
Boots                                --                                   
       Encases sweaty feet
Bikini, Fur                          --                                   
       Hardly covers nakedness at all
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------
Bikini, Chainmail                --                                       
  Absorbs up to 2 points of damage, 
                                                                          
            does NOT cover nakedness. 
Belt                                    --                                
         Where weapons hang from.
                                                                          
            (May be a trademark of TSR, Inc.)
Armor, Leggings                --                                         
Absorbs 1 point of damage
Armor, Gauntlets                                                          
Absorbs 1 point of damage
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------
Armor, Chainmail              --                                        
Absorbs up to 5 points of damage
Armor, Breastplate            --                                        
Absorbs up to 10 points of damage

  Each character can carry one huge-sized weapon or three regular-sized
weapons or four small-sized weapons, or one regular-sized weapon and two
small-sized weapons. The character may wear one set of clothes and two
kinds of armor OR one kind of bikini with either leggings or gauntlets. If
the character is unable to carry all the items it owns, it may hide them
in a cave, or under a boulder.
  If someone out there actually wants to play ROLF as a campaign game, the
characters may get more Stuff by looting the dead bodies of their
opponents.

3.0 Combat and Using Stuff
  Each weapon in ROLF does a set amount of damage, and hits are scored
when a character rolls a successful Attribute Check against its Brawn. The
target can attempt to either strike back or avoid the deflect the blow if
it has the appropriate Combat Maneuver by likewise rolling against its
Brawn (or other Attribute, in the case of some of the odder Combat
Maneuvers). Armor is cumulative, and once the amount of damage points has
been absorbed by it, it becomes useless unless repaired (which is done
between combats). However, as points are taken off Brawn when a character
is damaged in combat, the chance of making successful Brawn Attribute
checks is reduced as well. Further, for every 5 points of Brawn lost, the
character loses 1 point of Body, thus making Body Attribute checks harder
as well.
  In Combat, the character with the highest Body goes first. If there is a
tie, the character with the highest Brawn goes first. In each turn, a
character may use two of its Combat Maneuvers, and the character who acted
second gets to use two in a row, so that the turn sequence ends up looking
like this ABBA, with "A" being the character with the highest Body.
  For example, Rolf is locked in deadly Combat with the beautiful,
fur-bikini-clad Rebah. Rolf's Body is 14, and Rebah's is 15, so she gets
to go first. Rebah uses her Basic Attack in an attempt to slice Rolf with
her small sword, but Rolf uses his Dodge maneuver to avoid the damage.
Then he attempts to use the Strike Pose maneuver, in an effort to lay the
groundwork for a Seduction next round. (After all, Rolf wants to
repopulate the land, not kill the beautiful Rebah.) Rolf's Attribute check
is automatically successful, since his Body still exceeds 12 at this
point. Normally, Rebah would have to roll against her Brains to avoid
swooning over the impressive display of beefcake and fall into Rolf's
strong arms, but she happens to have the trait "Same-sex Preference" (see
4.0 for details) and is thus unaffected. She uses her final action that
round to use her Castrate maneuver. Rolf is out of actions, so she is
automatically successful... ouch!

3.1 Combat Maneuvers
  When a character wants to perform a Combat Maneuver, the player rolls
2d6 and compares the result to the character's Attribute that applies to
that maneuver. If the number is less than the Attribute Rating, then the
attempt is successful. (ATT = Attribute
*Basic Attack: All characters must take this Combat Maneuver. ATT: Brawn.
*Castrate: Usable when a Male character is Flexing and/or Striking a Pose.
If the attack is successful, the male permanently loses 1 point of Brawn
and  5 points of Body. The character must be wielding a weapon to attempt
this maneuver. ATT: Brawn.
*Debate Philosophy: By posing such pithy questions as "If a bear falls in
the woods, do the trees care?" the character can confuse opponents,
causing him (or her) to lose one action that round. The target may attempt
a Brains check to avoid the effect. ATT: Brains.
*Deflect: The character may try to deflect Brawn-based attacks against him
(or her). The character must be wielding a weapon to attempt this
maneuver. ATT: Brawn.
*Disarm: The character may try to knock a weapon out of the opponents
hand. The target may try to roll his (or her) Brawn on 3d6 to avoid the
effect. The character must be wielding a weapon to attempt this maneuver.
ATT: Brawn.
*Disembowel: Unless the target successfully used Deflect or Dodge, it
suffers the weapon's damage + 2d6 points. The character must be wielding a
weapon to attempt this maneuver. ATT: Brawn.
*Do Lunch: The character is able to fight and eat at the same time. ATT:
Brawn
*Dodge: The character manages to completely avoid one Brawn-based attack
per time this ability is successfully used. ATT: Body.
*Seduce: Through words, gestures, and general lewdness, the character
tries to convince the opponent to join it in an effort to propagate the
species. For this attempt, the character adds its Body and Brains and
rolls 3d6. The target may roll against its Brains to avoid being seduced.
ATT: Special.
*Strategic Bleeding: When a character has 5 or less damage points left,
this Combat Maneuver can be used to ruin the other guy's clothes or boots
by bleeding all over them. This is a "I'm gonna die, but I'll make you
pay" maneuver. (All right, so it's ineffectual... what did you expect:
It's a skill to be used by a LOSER!) ATT: Body
*Strike Pose: The target must make a successful Brains check or lose both
actions, due to being filled with admiration over the character's stunning
body. At the beginning of the following round, the target must roll a
Brains check on 1d4. If the check fails, the combat ends, and the
characters go off to find a soft spot where they may lay down. ATT: Body.
*Walk and Chew Gum: For the characters in the world of ROLF, this is an
amazing stun that keeps people entertained around the campfires. ATT:
Brains.

4.0 Optional Rule: Character Traits
  I've included the following traits to help you give the characters
color. Ideally, players who like to roleplay should be able to figure
these things out themselves, but, judging from the fact that every game
system seems to include material similar to this, most of us can't. There
are no dice rolls involved with these traits. They are just things each
character has about him (or her) that may or may not have broad
applications in the game. Characters may choose any number of traits, but
they should not be contradictory.

*Busty: Females only. The character has a hard time seeing her feet while
walking down stairs, but fills out a fur-bikini nicely. Gives a  -1 point
modifier to Strike Pose and Seduce Attributes checks.
*Chafing: The character cannon wear chainmail bikinis comfortably.
*Coldhearted: The character laughs as the opponent uses his (or her)
Strategic Bleeding maneuver and then finishes him (or her) off.
*Cowardly: The character doesn't like combat.
*Ego-maniac: The character thinks he (or she) is the best and the
brightest in all of Gog, and will happily tell everyone this fact.
*Nimble: The character is graceful and dexterous. Has the body of a
dancer.
*Lefthanded: Will die earlier than righthanded people, assuming swords
don't kill the character first.
*Same-sex Preference: The character is as gay as a morning in May, and is
immune to Seduction and Strike Pose maneuvers from the opposite sex.
Squeamish: The character doesn't like the sight of blood.
*Sense of honor: The character always fights fair and never loots dead
bodies.
*Short-tempered: The character has an itchy sword hand.

5.0 Pregenerated Characters
ROLF: Sex is Male; Brawn is 30; Body is 14; Brains is 3; Combat Maneuvers
are Basic Attack, Do Lunch, Strike Pose. Traits are Ego-maniac; Stuff
Carried is Loincloth, Breastplate, Boots, Huge Sword

RALF: Sex is Male; Brawn is 21; Body is 6; Brains is 4; Combat Maneuvers
are Basic Attack, Disarm, Disembowel, Seduction. Traits are Ego-maniac,
Short-tempered. Stuff Carried is Clothes, Chainmail, Breastplate, Boots,
Regular Sword.

REBAH: Sex is Female; Brawn is 26; Body is 15; Brains is 7; Combat
Maneuvers are Basic Attack, Castrate, Debate Philosophy, Dodge, Strategic
Bleeding, Strike Pose, Walk and Chew Gum. Traits are Same-sex Preference;
Stuff Carried: Fur Bikini, Leggings, Boots, Normal Mace, Small Sword,
Small Crossbow.

AFTERWORD!
  I hope you enjoy ROLF. I'd love to hear any comments you have about
ROLF, be they good or bad. Who knows? There might just be a ROLF AT SEA
net.freebie ready to be released. And it may just have more Stuff, more
Combat Maneuvers, more Character Traits, and rules for how characters
should handle the phrase: "Hello Sailor."
  In the meantime, however, if you liked ROLF, and would like to take a
look at a slightly more complex roleplaying game from the same twisted
minds that brought you this one, I direct you to the ftp site "wais.com."
There you can find NUELOW, the net.freebie that makes no claims to
greatness--other than possibly being the silliest universal roleplaying
game ever devised. Get your copies now, and gather some friends, because
NUELOW will soon be popping up in the newsgroups again with all new
supplementary material...

L.L. Hundal ([GolemGir r l] at [aol.com])
The New One To Blame