Path: newshub.cts.com!news.sprintlink.net!news.eznet.net!news.enterprise.net!btnet!newsfeed.internetmci.com!ncar!noao!news.Arizona.EDU!tau.lpl.arizona.edu!corleyj From: [c--l--j] at [lpl.arizona.edu] (Jason Corley) Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf,rec.games.frp.storyteller Subject: Jason's Not-So-Stupid Malkavian Tricks Date: 8 Nov 1995 17:20:55 GMT Organization: Frobozz Magic Code, Inc. Lines: 419 Message-ID: <47qotn$[ee 6] at [news.ccit.arizona.edu]> NNTP-Posting-Host: tau.lpl.arizona.edu X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] Xref: newshub.cts.com alt.games.whitewolf:46815 rec.games.frp.storyteller:5128 Here is a document I wrote for our local LARP game: suggestions and comments are welcomed! ==================== Jason's Not-So-Stupid LARP Tricks for Clan Malkavian WHAT I TELL YOU THREE TIMES IS TRUE WHAT I TELL YOU THREE TIMES IS TRUE WHAT I TELL YOU THREE TIMES IS TRUE =================================== "Some things we plan. We sit and we invent and we plot and we cook up. Others are works of inspiration. Of poetry. " ------Nick Cave The absolute, #1, completely and utterly most important thing to remember when playing a Malkavian is The Derangement. It should _always_ be in your mind. It should be as detailed and as realistic as possible: you should know it inside and out. When something happens, you should be able to instantly translate it "through the filter", and react "through the filter" back to the outside world. Once you've got this down, you'll quickly find that LARPs start to shift and change...you're not as involved in things...people shy away from you...plots start to pass you by...when you achieve things, you don't really seem to understand them...when you get victimized, you don't really seem affected by it...the simplest tasks drift away and become completely impossible for you to do...but you accomplish incredibly bizarre and complicated things without even trying...everything is different. This is as it should be. This is part of the fun. The mentally ill have a stigma attatched to them in real life, and in the LARP, it's no different. In fact, it's worse, since people "know" (guffaw) that there _is_ in fact something "going on back there", they stay away from it as much as possible. Supernatural insanity is both better and worse than natural insanity. And contradictions are a part of both sides, so you better get used to them. This guide will tell you several strategies that you can use _once you have the Derangement firmly in your playing style._ If you don't have it down yet, these will backfire and backfire horribly. Sane people cannot do these things: they will get burned if they try. But once you have it started...it's hard to stop. THE RULES AND HOW TO CHANGE THEM FOR FUN AND PROFIT OR PAIN AND LOSS ==================================================================== "I came home today, and both our cars were gone, and there were all these little pink flamingos arranged in star patterns all over the lawn. And when I walked inside, it looked like a tornado had. Hit. And then suddenly I realized I was in the wrong house." -----Laurie Anderson, "Language Is A Virus" Everyone lives by rules. Yes, even you. Especially you. Malkavians live by stringent rules and regulations, not imposed by an impersonal clan hierarchy (probably) or a vicious sense of ambition or drive (usually), but by their own force of will. "Why," you say, "that seems a bit odd. To be turned loose in this new and terrible form, with absolute freedom to do anything I please, and then suddenly decide to chain myself down with constraints far more devastating than anyone else I see?" Yes. It is a bit odd. It is, in fact, completely insane. The difference is that whereas the rules of the rest of the world are based on what the rest of the world laughingly terms "rationality", the rules of the Malkavian make no such claim and disdain any such artificial trappings. Hence, to the outside observer, the Malkavians seem to change their rules from day to day, night to night, even minute to minute, whereas the Malkavians themselves know that they are simply following a schedule, or completing a task and moving on, or maybe even proceeding to a new stage of enlightenment... (BIG SECRET #73: Like quantum mechanics, the rules of the Malkavians only exist when someone is looking at them, and they only change when the same observer looks for the same thing twice. It's all a big hoax designed to keep observers from figuring out the _real_ plan.) "Ho, ho!" I hear you say. "So I can act however I please?" Hell, no. You can only act how your madness will let you act. But the madness is you. So not only can you act however you please, you can't _avoid_ it. I must have been wrong earlier. No I wasn't! Here's the bottom line: when that first little teeny-tiny drop of Malkavian blood hit your lips, it sidled on up to your brain, screamed "I'm a-calling you out!" and beat the shit out of it, and made it work differently. You can't stop your brain from acting the way it does (hell, you couldn't even do it when you were sane), and so in that sense, you are constrained. Your madness controls you. You can react to it in several ways (see the Hierarchy, below), but you're never getting out. But to the sane, you're already out. You've escaped their world and live in your own. But here's the joke: the one you come to is just as restrictive as the one you left! The best pranks are the ones you play on yourself, after all. So remember: when you want to "change the rules", go ahead! The ones you can change. For instance, take our local hebephrenic schizophrenic. One of her most profoundly disturbing changes was the shift in subject matter for her delusions. Hebephrenic schizophrenia is characterized by not-well-organized delusions, childlike affect (such as uncontrollable giggling and emotional immaturity), and the normal schizophrenic stuff (hallucinations, delusions, etc.) At first, her delusions were about herself. "I'm the new Female Pope on the latest tarot deck." she said once. Then, without warning, one evening, she changed over to talking about the end of the world. "It's coming last Wednesday." she said. "Pain's a weekly thing." Notice that she still could not stop the giggling or emotional immaturity. Those are rules she can't change. She can, however, change things like the way she dresses, the way she speaks, the way she interacts with people, what she cares about, her goals, her future plans, her memories, etc. _at will_. This is a great deal of power that she would not have were she some other kind of vampire. But the rules that she can change are different from the rules that another Malkavian can change. For instance, someone obsessed with cleanliness could _not_ stop wearing ultra-clean clothes any time they wanted. In fact, they'll _never_ be able to stop, unless their Derangement changes (see below for that.) Know the rules other people live by. Know them well. Know them in the same way terrorists know about cars: so that you know where to put the bomb. The last thing to know about changing the rules is that when the rules change, the winning condition also changes. If you set a Machiavellian, subtle, powerful plot into motion that will inevitably bring you towards one of your future goals, watch smugly as every other Kindred in town scrambles to figure out what's going on, smile kindly when a vast movement against your plan arises (it will: it is very rare that anyone even thinks of allying with a Malkavian or letting their plans come to fruition, no matter how "normal" the Malkavian or innocuous their plans), and then, at the very last minute, completely throw the plan away and go in a totally different direction...then you're starting to get the hang of it. Yes, you'll be starting over. Yes, changing the rules hurt you. But it only hurt you _according to the old rules_. By the new rules, you're just fine. The eventual result will be a city full of people continually second-guessing each other and third-guessing you, and then you can just pick up anything you want at any time, because nobody will be able to tell what's really going on. See 'Conspiracy', below. ALL CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE TRUE: ESPECIALLY FALSE ONES ======================================================= "When I heard of this *expletive deleted* bugging and forced entry, I said to myself, 'Is this a joke?'...but it wasn't funny. It wasn't funny at all." -----Richard Nixon How to conspire when you're insane? Well, here's some of the attributes of "sane" conspiracies: 1. Secrecy. Sane conspiracies try to keep out of sight. 2. Elitism. Sane conspiracies divide the world into two sorts of people: those in the conspiracy, and those outside it. 3. Cohesiveness. Sane conspiracies have a single goal or set of goals that they work together to achieve. 4. Layers. Sane conspiracies often obfuscate themselves and their goals by setting up blinds and double-blinds to confound people investigating their activities. Now. Here is Yet Another Advantage To Being Malkavian: you can do any of those things you like (as long as it isn't proscribed by your derangement), _and_ you have access to yet another level of twisted versions of the above that nobody else can pull off. 1. Secrecy. Announce your plans. The secret ones. Out loud. To everyone. Make sure everyone is absolutely clear on what you're going to be doing and on exactly how secret the plan is. Encourage people to spread news of the conspiracy around. This will get people very upset as they try to find out "what they're really up to" and be completely unable to find anything. Sometimes they won't even believe that you're doing what you say you're doing, and will be really, really surprised when they find out you are. Alternatively, keep your plans a secret from everyone, _even yourself_. Do seemingly random things, and you'd be surprised how quickly it will all come together in a massive plot. If it doesn't, oh well, looks like a Malkavian did some pointless random things, I'll notify the media. 2. Elitism. Bring everyone into the conspiracy that you can. Sometimes you can bring people into the conspiracy without telling them (see secrecy.) Often times, if you Change The Rules halfway through the conspiracy, you can then withdraw from the conspiracy you created and start working against it. (If you can find out about it. Secrecy, remember.) Alternatively, you can put nobody in the conspiracy at all. Skip right to the end and start working against it before anyone even comes up with the idea. That way, when they do, you'll be ready. (And they will. Throw a monkey wrench in a particular direction, and everyone in town will step all over each other building a machine in front of it.) 3. Cohesiveness. Change The Rules on the conspiracy. Change the goals. Change the personnel. Change the way it operates. Change its strategy. Alternately, you can make no pretense at cohesiveness from the beginning...just _start off_ going in 12 different directions. That way, no matter where you end up, it's where you wanted to be...or maybe it's where you least wanted to be. 4. Layers. The perfect Malkavian "layering" strategy is to Conceal Information By Leaving It In Plain Sight. Then construct your "false conspiracies" _underneath_ the truth. That way, when they see through to your "real plan", it's a fake, and the thing they "saw through" is now invisible. Another good strategy is Concealing Information By Leaving It Mislabelled In Plain Sight. Construct a massive public conspiracy to accomplish a goal...then have it accomplish a totally different goal. Finally, remember that Malkavians can Generate Information (see below.) Do that enough, and you won't _need_ any "layers." As a Malkavian in our game once said: "If your plan requires secrecy, you haven't thought it through." And of course, if you say this often enough, you will be able to execute all kinds of secret plans without anyone ever thinking that you might possibly be the one behind it. Fear and Ignorance. Love and Knowledge. THE WELL-DRESSED MALKAVIAN AND HIS STATUS IN THE COMMUNITY ========================================================== "Gain STATUS -- LUCK -- PROSPERITY by BLOWING THEM OFF!" ---The Book of the SubGenius Yes, as you trot merrily along the highways and byways of your own deluded reality, you may find that people stare at you quite a bit, and talk about you even more. Look around...scary people with scary thoughts. They're always thinking about reputation and rumors and stuff like that. And so whereas you may simply believe, they must analyze, cogitate and ponder your activities. It's a compulsion. They're completely insane. Which means that you may soon be sitting on a large pile of Status that you don't even know exists. RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO USE THIS STATUS WHEN YOU REALLY NEED IT. If you do, you're playing right into their hands (not that you can't play your way right back out again, eventually.) When everyone is expecting you to use Status...don't. Only use it when it will end up being completely useless. Bid it against another Malkavian, for instance, or against someone with far more Status than you (if they bid Status back, just smile and shake your head and say 'That's real interesting that you're Well-Known/Famous/Feared. Wanna explain why I should care, or should we just move on?') BURN OFF STATUS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. When you get it, it means that people are listening to you. You immediately need to train them in the error of their ways. Lose all pretense of lucidity for a while until the Status goes away (you'll be pleasantly surprised at how long they will continue to listen to you.) MAKE OTHER PEOPLE DOUBT THEIR STATUS BY IGNORING IT. Pretty simple and self-explanatory. If you don't treat them any different than the Caitiff down the block, pretty soon you'll have them thinking that they _are_ the Caitiff down the block. TURN BULLSHIT INTO GOLD ======================= "Reality is what you can get away with." ----Robert Anton Wilson WARNING: ONLY FOR THE TRULY, TRULY DERANGED. I mean it this time. This strategy will work for those with severe and heavy Derangements...those that seem normal had better have some deep-seated and nasty delusions if they want to try this kind of stuff, or else they _soon will_. To understand this strategy, you have to understand why all the other vampires are deluded into thinking that information is important. They believe that information is power. They believe that information gives them an edge, in the same way that nation-states believe that intelligence agencies give them a military edge. If you know what someone is up to, you understand the world around you better, and can react to that world in a way that will achieve you your goals. If you don't know what's going on, you have no idea how to reach your goals, and flounder in a sea of ignorance. But Malkavians know, all together now, that this idea is COMPLETELY WRONG from BEGINNING TO END. Knowing what other people are doing doesn't help the Malkavian understand his world at all...because the Malkavian doesn't live in the real world. This is why the Malkavians disdain the secrets of the Tremere: because they are by and large useless and irrelevant to the _real_ issues. Change reality? Malkavians are more concerned with changing their socks every few days...AND FOR THEM IT'S THE SAME THING. Information is dull, because it refers to the "real world", which, while amusing for a while, eventually begins to grate on your nerves. This is where the amazing Malkavian power of INFORMATION GENERATION comes in. See, other vampires are secretive and generally lie, obfuscate and prevaricate in order to keep information secret. In other words, the real world checks in through their eyes and ears, but doesn't check out. The Malkavians realize that _you don't need input_ to get perfectly reasonable (or unreasonable) output. Garbage in, garbage out, sure, but _nothing_ in, garbage out? That's insane. Of course it is. Information generation as a strategy is very simple. Rather than going out and searching for things you need to know, you first invent the question, and then you answer it, both of them through your Derangement. Simple enough, right? Yes, it's very simple....to start. STOPPING IS ANOTHER MATTER ENTIRELY. You'll find that no matter how bizarre, irrational or completely nonsensical your "answer", that it will have just as much truth in it as anyone else's. If someone investigates your answer, they will get just as far as they would investigating the true answer, because _nobody tells anyone anything_. Malkavians take advantage of the information-scarce environment of the Camarilla in order to spread their own brand of information (Brand X, of course.) In other words, the message here is, "Just because it's rare doesn't make it valuable." Pretty soon, people will believe everything you say. Even the false things. _Especially_ the false things. PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE AS AVANTE-GARDE ART or ONLY THE TERRORIST HAS THE ABILITY TO TRULY SURPRISE THESE DAYS =============================================================== "Mojique holds a package in his quivering hands Mojique sends the package to the American man. Softly, he glides along the streets and alleys. Up comes the wind that makes them run for cover... The wind in my heart The wind in my heart The dust in my head The dust in my head." ----David Byrne, "The Wind In My Heart" It's gonna happen sometime. You'll be happily (or depressively) sowing chaos and insanity, and you'll step on someone's toes and they, because they are dull, predictable and stodgy, they will take revenge on you. You will get screwed. It happens to everyone, sane or insane. Fortunately for you, Malkavians actually have choices about how they can respond, for the most part. Whereas everyone else must plod along the same endless cycle of violence, backstabbing, betrayal and bloody-minded stupidity, the Malkavian gets to pick which part of the cycle they like, and put that trademark "spin" on it. (Call it spin. Don't call it "twisted.") Here are several stratagies: 1. The Cordelia Stratagem. Do nothing. Cast yourself in the role of the victim. Let people do whatever they want to you. Take it uncomplainingly. Try to live with it. Get depressive, if applicable. Make sure everyone sees that you're not responding at all. Pretty soon, you'll be invulnerable: people will say "What's the point?" 2. Emperor Norton's Gambit. Ignore the ill effects of your opponent's activities. Deny that things have ever been any other way. Pretend you have _always_ been screwed in precisely that way. For instance, in our ongoing game, a Malkavian had a great deal of Church influence...someone acted to turn his "congregation" from a bunch of ravening SubGenius flunkies into stodgy, boring government officials. So he then went out, acquired Bureaucracy and Finance influences and pretended the Church thing was just a passing fad. Really, really, really frustrating for the other guy... 3. The John Foster Dulles Ploy MASSIVE RETALIATION. Make complicated attempts to blow up their haven, tear apart their car, kill their dog, smash their influences, drag their Status screaming down into the mud and slay them horribly. Do this _regardless of the size of tresspass_ they did to you. The chief problem with this one is that it's expensive in terms of effort, and therefore can't be used on everyone. 4. The von Sacher-Masoch Contingency Reward those who attack you. Give them money. Give them Influence. Give them boons. Do them favors, and ask nothing in return. WARNING: Really sick, really twisted, if you do this one, be prepared to have your target be _broken_ after a few weeks. 5. The Mirror Game Do to them _exactly_ what they did to you, or as near as possible as you can get to it. Use the same pawns, use the same contacts, use the same Influences, use the same verbal phrases and see if you don't achieve the same result. This one is very difficult to pull off, but the look on their face (and that visceral gut feeling of symmetry) is worth it. 6. The Broken Mirror Plot This one is a little easier than the mirror game...you essentially try _and fail_ to do to them what they did to you. Instead, you end up doing something similar, but different enough that it can be distinguished. This often happens when you try to do the mirror game, but your Derangement interferes. 7. The alt.non.sequitur Memorandum Simply put, this means that you do something inexplicable to the target that has absolutely nothing to do with the thing they did to you or anything else in the real world. The proper response to this should be "Huh?" ====================== This is an ongoing work! If you have any other suggestions, let me know, and I'll write them up! -- **************************************************************************** "Generally, things have gone about as far as they can possibly go when things have got about as bad as they can reasonably get."--Tom Stoppard Jason D. Corley (aka [c--l--j] at [tau.lpl.arizona.edu]) is a fugitive from Reality