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From: [c--l--j] at [lpl.arizona.edu] (Jason Corley)
Newsgroups: alt.games.whitewolf,rec.games.frp.storyteller
Subject: Jason's Not-So-Stupid Malkavian Tricks
Date: 8 Nov 1995 17:20:55 GMT
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Here is a document I wrote for our local LARP game: suggestions and 
comments are welcomed!


====================
Jason's Not-So-Stupid LARP Tricks for Clan Malkavian


WHAT I TELL YOU THREE TIMES IS TRUE
WHAT I TELL YOU THREE TIMES IS TRUE
WHAT I TELL YOU THREE TIMES IS TRUE
===================================

"Some things we plan.  We sit and we invent and we plot and we cook up.  
Others are works of inspiration.  Of poetry. "
                                        ------Nick Cave


The absolute, #1, completely and utterly most important thing to remember
when playing a Malkavian is The Derangement.  It should _always_ be in
your mind.  It should be as detailed and as realistic as possible: you
should know it inside and out.  When something happens, you should be able
to instantly translate it "through the filter", and react "through the
filter" back to the outside world. 

Once you've got this down, you'll quickly find that LARPs start to shift
and change...you're not as involved in things...people shy away from
you...plots start to pass you by...when you achieve things, you don't
really seem to understand them...when you get victimized, you don't really
seem affected by it...the simplest tasks drift away and become completely
impossible for you to do...but you accomplish incredibly bizarre and
complicated things without even trying...everything is different. 

This is as it should be.  This is part of the fun.  The mentally ill have
a stigma attatched to them in real life, and in the LARP, it's no
different.  In fact, it's worse, since people "know" (guffaw) that there
_is_ in fact something "going on back there", they stay away from it as
much as possible.  Supernatural insanity is both better and worse than
natural insanity.  And contradictions are a part of both sides, so you
better get used to them. 

This guide will tell you several strategies that you can use _once you
have the Derangement firmly in your playing style._ If you don't have it
down yet, these will backfire and backfire horribly.  Sane people cannot
do these things: they will get burned if they try. 

But once you have it started...it's hard to stop.


THE RULES AND HOW TO CHANGE THEM FOR FUN AND PROFIT OR PAIN AND LOSS
====================================================================

"I came home today, and both our cars were gone, and there were all these
little pink flamingos arranged in star patterns all over the lawn.  And
when I walked inside, it looked like a tornado had.  Hit.  And then
suddenly I realized I was in the wrong house."
                -----Laurie Anderson, "Language Is A Virus"

Everyone lives by rules.  Yes, even you.  Especially you.  Malkavians live
by stringent rules and regulations, not imposed by an impersonal clan
hierarchy (probably) or a vicious sense of ambition or drive (usually),
but by their own force of will.  "Why," you say, "that seems a bit odd. 
To be turned loose in this new and terrible form, with absolute freedom to
do anything I please, and then suddenly decide to chain myself down with
constraints far more devastating than anyone else I see?"  Yes.  It is a
bit odd.  It is, in fact, completely insane. 

The difference is that whereas the rules of the rest of the world are
based on what the rest of the world laughingly terms "rationality", the
rules of the Malkavian make no such claim and disdain any such artificial
trappings.  Hence, to the outside observer, the Malkavians seem to change 
their rules from day to day, night to night, even minute to minute, 
whereas the Malkavians themselves know that they are simply following a 
schedule, or completing a task and moving on, or maybe even proceeding to 
a new stage of enlightenment...

(BIG SECRET #73: Like quantum mechanics, the rules of the Malkavians only 
exist when someone is looking at them, and they only change when the same 
observer looks for the same thing twice.  It's all a big hoax designed to 
keep observers from figuring out the _real_ plan.)

"Ho, ho!" I hear you say.  "So I can act however I please?"  Hell, no. 
You can only act how your madness will let you act.  But the madness is 
you.  So not only can you act however you please, you can't _avoid_ it.  
I must have been wrong earlier.  No I wasn't!

Here's the bottom line: when that first little teeny-tiny drop of 
Malkavian blood hit your lips, it sidled on up to your brain, screamed 
"I'm a-calling you out!" and beat the shit out of it, and made it work 
differently.  You can't stop your brain from acting the way it does 
(hell, you couldn't even do it when you were sane), and so in that sense, 
you are constrained.  Your madness controls you.  You can react to it in 
several ways (see the Hierarchy, below), but you're never getting out.

But to the sane, you're already out.  You've escaped their world and live
in your own.  But here's the joke: the one you come to is just as
restrictive as the one you left!  The best pranks are the ones you play on
yourself, after all.  So remember: when you want to "change the rules", go
ahead!  The ones you can change.

For instance, take our local hebephrenic schizophrenic.  One of her most 
profoundly disturbing changes was the shift in subject matter for her 
delusions.  Hebephrenic schizophrenia is characterized by 
not-well-organized delusions, childlike affect (such as uncontrollable 
giggling and emotional immaturity), and the normal schizophrenic stuff 
(hallucinations, delusions, etc.)  At first, her delusions were about 
herself.  "I'm the new Female Pope on the latest tarot deck." she said 
once.  Then, without warning, one evening, she changed over to talking 
about the end of the world.  "It's coming last Wednesday." she said.  
"Pain's a weekly thing."  Notice that she still could not stop the 
giggling or emotional immaturity.  Those are rules she can't change.  She 
can, however, change things like the way she dresses, the way she speaks, 
the way she interacts with people, what she cares about, her goals, her 
future plans, her memories, etc. _at will_.  This is a great deal of 
power that she would not have were she some other kind of vampire.  But 
the rules that she can change are different from the rules that another 
Malkavian can change.  For instance, someone obsessed with cleanliness 
could _not_ stop wearing ultra-clean clothes any time they wanted.  In 
fact, they'll _never_ be able to stop, unless their Derangement changes 
(see below for that.)

Know the rules other people live by.  Know them well.  Know them in the 
same way terrorists know about cars: so that you know where to put the 
bomb.

The last thing to know about changing the rules is that when the rules
change, the winning condition also changes.  If you set a Machiavellian,
subtle, powerful plot into motion that will inevitably bring you towards
one of your future goals, watch smugly as every other Kindred in town
scrambles to figure out what's going on, smile kindly when a vast movement
against your plan arises (it will: it is very rare that anyone even thinks
of allying with a Malkavian or letting their plans come to fruition, no
matter how "normal" the Malkavian or innocuous their plans), and then, at
the very last minute, completely throw the plan away and go in a totally
different direction...then you're starting to get the hang of it.  Yes,
you'll be starting over.  Yes, changing the rules hurt you.  But it only
hurt you _according to the old rules_.  By the new rules, you're just
fine. 

The eventual result will be a city full of people continually 
second-guessing each other and third-guessing you, and then you can just 
pick up anything you want at any time, because nobody will be able to 
tell what's really going on.  See 'Conspiracy', below.



ALL CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE TRUE: ESPECIALLY FALSE ONES
=======================================================

"When I heard of this *expletive deleted* bugging and forced entry, I said
to myself, 'Is this a joke?'...but it wasn't funny.  It wasn't funny at
all."
                -----Richard Nixon


How to conspire when you're insane?  Well, here's some of the attributes 
of "sane" conspiracies:

1.  Secrecy.  Sane conspiracies try to keep out of sight.
2.  Elitism.  Sane conspiracies divide the world into two sorts of 
people: those in the conspiracy, and those outside it.
3.  Cohesiveness.  Sane conspiracies have a single goal or set of goals that 
they work together to achieve.
4.  Layers.  Sane conspiracies often obfuscate themselves and their goals 
by setting up blinds and double-blinds to confound people investigating 
their activities.

Now.  Here is Yet Another Advantage To Being Malkavian: you can do any of
those things you like (as long as it isn't proscribed by your
derangement), _and_ you have access to yet another level of twisted
versions of the above that nobody else can pull off. 


1.  Secrecy.
        Announce your plans.  The secret ones.  Out loud.  To everyone.  
Make sure everyone is absolutely clear on what you're going to be doing 
and on exactly how secret the plan is.  Encourage people to spread news 
of the conspiracy around.  This will get people very upset as they try to 
find out "what they're really up to" and be completely unable to find 
anything.  Sometimes they won't even believe that you're doing what you 
say you're doing, and will be really, really surprised when they find out 
you are.
        Alternatively, keep your plans a secret from everyone, _even 
yourself_.  Do seemingly random things, and you'd be surprised how 
quickly it will all come together in a massive plot.  If it doesn't, oh 
well, looks like a Malkavian did some pointless random things, I'll 
notify the media.

2.  Elitism.
        Bring everyone into the conspiracy that you can.  Sometimes you 
can bring people into the conspiracy without telling them (see secrecy.)  
Often times, if you Change The Rules halfway through the conspiracy, you 
can then withdraw from the conspiracy you created and start working 
against it.  (If you can find out about it.  Secrecy, remember.)
        Alternatively, you can put nobody in the conspiracy at all.  Skip 
right to the end and start working against it before anyone even comes 
up with the idea.  That way, when they do, you'll be ready.  (And they 
will.  Throw a monkey wrench in a particular direction, and everyone in 
town will step all over each other building a machine in front of it.)

3.  Cohesiveness.  
        Change The Rules on the conspiracy.  Change the goals.  Change the
personnel.  Change the way it operates.  Change its strategy.
        Alternately, you can make no pretense at cohesiveness from the 
beginning...just _start off_ going in 12 different directions.  That way, 
no matter where you end up, it's where you wanted to be...or maybe it's 
where you least wanted to be.

4.  Layers.
        The perfect Malkavian "layering" strategy is to Conceal 
Information By Leaving It In Plain Sight.  Then construct your "false 
conspiracies" _underneath_ the truth.  That way, when they see through to 
your "real plan", it's a fake, and the thing they "saw through" is now 
invisible.
        Another good strategy is Concealing Information By Leaving It 
Mislabelled In Plain Sight.  Construct a massive public conspiracy to 
accomplish a goal...then have it accomplish a totally different goal.
        Finally, remember that Malkavians can Generate Information (see 
below.)  Do that enough, and you won't _need_ any "layers."

        As a Malkavian in our game once said: "If your plan requires
secrecy, you haven't thought it through."  And of course, if you say this
often enough, you will be able to execute all kinds of secret plans
without anyone ever thinking that you might possibly be the one behind it. 
Fear and Ignorance.  Love and Knowledge. 


THE WELL-DRESSED MALKAVIAN AND HIS STATUS IN THE COMMUNITY
==========================================================

"Gain STATUS -- LUCK -- PROSPERITY by BLOWING THEM OFF!"
        ---The Book of the SubGenius


        Yes, as you trot merrily along the highways and byways of your own
deluded reality, you may find that people stare at you quite a bit, and
talk about you even more.  Look around...scary people with scary thoughts. 
They're always thinking about reputation and rumors and stuff like that. 
And so whereas you may simply believe, they must analyze, cogitate and
ponder your activities.  It's a compulsion.  They're completely insane. 
Which means that you may soon be sitting on a large pile of Status that
you don't even know exists. 

        RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO USE THIS STATUS WHEN YOU REALLY NEED IT. 
If you do, you're playing right into their hands (not that you can't play
your way right back out again, eventually.) When everyone is expecting you
to use Status...don't.  Only use it when it will end up being completely
useless.  Bid it against another Malkavian, for instance, or against
someone with far more Status than you (if they bid Status back, just smile
and shake your head and say 'That's real interesting that you're
Well-Known/Famous/Feared.  Wanna explain why I should care, or should we
just move on?')

        BURN OFF STATUS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.  When you get it, it means
that people are listening to you.  You immediately need to train them in
the error of their ways.  Lose all pretense of lucidity for a while until
the Status goes away (you'll be pleasantly surprised at how long they will
continue to listen to you.)

        MAKE OTHER PEOPLE DOUBT THEIR STATUS BY IGNORING IT.  Pretty
simple and self-explanatory.  If you don't treat them any different than
the Caitiff down the block, pretty soon you'll have them thinking that
they _are_ the Caitiff down the block. 


TURN BULLSHIT INTO GOLD
=======================

"Reality is what you can get away with."
                ----Robert Anton Wilson

WARNING: ONLY FOR THE TRULY, TRULY DERANGED.  I mean it this time.  This 
strategy will work for those with severe and heavy Derangements...those 
that seem normal had better have some deep-seated and nasty delusions if 
they want to try this kind of stuff, or else they _soon will_.

To understand this strategy, you have to understand why all the other 
vampires are deluded into thinking that information is important.  They 
believe that information is power.  They believe that information gives 
them an edge, in the same way that nation-states believe that 
intelligence agencies give them a military edge.  If you know what 
someone is up to, you understand the world around you better, and can 
react to that world in a way that will achieve you your goals.  If you 
don't know what's going on, you have no idea how to reach your goals, and 
flounder in a sea of ignorance.

But Malkavians know, all together now, that this idea is COMPLETELY WRONG 
from BEGINNING TO END.  Knowing what other people are doing doesn't help 
the Malkavian understand his world at all...because the Malkavian doesn't 
live in the real world.  This is why the Malkavians disdain the secrets 
of the Tremere: because they are by and large useless and irrelevant to 
the _real_ issues.  Change reality?  Malkavians are more concerned with 
changing their socks every few days...AND FOR THEM IT'S THE SAME THING.  
Information is dull, because it refers to the "real world", which, while 
amusing for a while, eventually begins to grate on your nerves.

This is where the amazing Malkavian power of INFORMATION GENERATION comes 
in.  See, other vampires are secretive and generally lie, obfuscate and 
prevaricate in order to keep information secret.  In other words, the 
real world checks in through their eyes and ears, but doesn't check out.  
The Malkavians realize that _you don't need input_ to get perfectly 
reasonable (or unreasonable) output.  Garbage in, garbage out, sure, but 
_nothing_ in, garbage out?  That's insane.

Of course it is.

Information generation as a strategy is very simple.  Rather than going
out and searching for things you need to know, you first invent the
question, and then you answer it, both of them through your Derangement. 
Simple enough, right?  Yes, it's very simple....to start.  STOPPING IS
ANOTHER MATTER ENTIRELY.  You'll find that no matter how bizarre,
irrational or completely nonsensical your "answer", that it will have just
as much truth in it as anyone else's.  If someone investigates your
answer, they will get just as far as they would investigating the true
answer, because _nobody tells anyone anything_.  Malkavians take advantage
of the information-scarce environment of the Camarilla in order to spread
their own brand of information (Brand X, of course.) In other words, the
message here is, "Just because it's rare doesn't make it valuable."

Pretty soon, people will believe everything you say.  Even the false 
things.  _Especially_ the false things.


PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE AS AVANTE-GARDE ART
or
ONLY THE TERRORIST HAS THE ABILITY TO TRULY SURPRISE THESE DAYS
===============================================================

"Mojique holds a package in his quivering hands
 Mojique sends the package to the American man.
 Softly, he glides along the streets and alleys.
 Up comes the wind that makes them run for cover...

 The wind in my heart
 The wind in my heart
 The dust in my head
 The dust in my head."
                ----David Byrne, "The Wind In My Heart"

It's gonna happen sometime.  You'll be happily (or depressively) sowing
chaos and insanity, and you'll step on someone's toes and they, because
they are dull, predictable and stodgy, they will take revenge on you.  You
will get screwed.  It happens to everyone, sane or insane.  Fortunately
for you, Malkavians actually have choices about how they can respond, for
the most part.  Whereas everyone else must plod along the same endless 
cycle of violence, backstabbing, betrayal and bloody-minded stupidity, 
the Malkavian gets to pick which part of the cycle they like, and put 
that trademark "spin" on it.  (Call it spin.  Don't call it "twisted.")

Here are several stratagies:

1.  The Cordelia Stratagem.
        Do nothing.  Cast yourself in the role of the victim.  Let people 
do whatever they want to you.  Take it uncomplainingly.  Try to live with 
it.  Get depressive, if applicable.  Make sure everyone sees that you're 
not responding at all.  Pretty soon, you'll be invulnerable: people will 
say "What's the point?"

2.  Emperor Norton's Gambit.
        Ignore the ill effects of your opponent's activities.  Deny that 
things have ever been any other way.  Pretend you have _always_ been 
screwed in precisely that way.  For instance, in our ongoing game, a 
Malkavian had a great deal of Church influence...someone acted to turn 
his "congregation" from a bunch of ravening SubGenius flunkies into 
stodgy, boring government officials.  So he then went out, acquired 
Bureaucracy and Finance influences and pretended the Church thing was 
just a passing fad.  Really, really, really frustrating for the other 
guy...

3.  The John Foster Dulles Ploy
        MASSIVE RETALIATION.  Make complicated attempts to blow up their 
haven, tear apart their car, kill their dog, smash their influences, drag 
their Status screaming down into the mud and slay them horribly.  Do this 
_regardless of the size of tresspass_ they did to you.  The chief problem 
with this one is that it's expensive in terms of effort, and therefore 
can't be used on everyone.

4.  The von Sacher-Masoch Contingency
        Reward those who attack you.  Give them money.  Give them 
Influence.  Give them boons.  Do them favors, and ask nothing in return.  
WARNING: Really sick, really twisted, if you do this one, be prepared to 
have your target be _broken_ after a few weeks.

5.  The Mirror Game
        Do to them _exactly_ what they did to you, or as near as possible 
as you can get to it.  Use the same pawns, use the same contacts, use the 
same Influences, use the same verbal phrases and see if you don't achieve 
the same result.  This one is very difficult to pull off, but the look on 
their face (and that visceral gut feeling of symmetry) is worth it.

6.  The Broken Mirror Plot
        This one is a little easier than the mirror game...you 
essentially try _and fail_ to do to them what they did to you.  Instead, 
you end up doing something similar, but different enough that it can be 
distinguished.  This often happens when you try to do the mirror game, 
but your Derangement interferes.

7.  The alt.non.sequitur Memorandum
        Simply put, this means that you do something inexplicable to the
target that has absolutely nothing to do with the thing they did to you or
anything else in the real world.  The proper response to this should be
"Huh?" 


======================

This is an ongoing work!  If you have any other suggestions, let me know, 
and I'll write them up!




--
****************************************************************************
"Generally, things have gone about as far as they can possibly go when
 things have got about as bad as they can reasonably get."--Tom Stoppard
Jason D. Corley (aka [c--l--j] at [tau.lpl.arizona.edu]) is a fugitive from Reality