Newsgroups: alt.drugs.chemistry
From: [an 216208] at [anon.penet.fi]
Reply-To: [an 216208] at [anon.penet.fi]
Date: Sun, 29 Oct 1995 11:51:09 UTC
Subject: *ZWITTERION* - On eleusis' "safrole isomerization"


Well, old ZWITTERION is back! Just when you thought it was safe to post
STUPIDITY, I've come to PROVIDE THE EMPIRICAL DATA you sleazy little
chemical WHORES love so much.

Today's topic is: Isomerization of Safrole
Today's victim is: Eleusis

Old ZWITTERION, feeling especially felonious this weekend, decided to START
A THREE-ALARM FIRE, and felt that there would be NO better way to do this
than to isomerize some safrole.

Now, as eleusis has posted, one heats up safrole to 244C, which technically
ain't gonna happen, with some KOH and CaO. Well, funny thing is, it does
happen, and pretty much like he says it will.

One BIG FUCKING PROBLEM, Mr. Eleusis (who is no doubt yukking it up in some
bizarre spring mystery ceremony when he writes these things) and that is...

FIRE!

Mr. E, coy as usual, says heat the safrole to 244C. Well, he originally
didn't specify how one would do this, assuming, probably, that we all have
nice EXPENSIVE Thermowell (TM) brand heating mantles, or Dow-Corning (TM)
magnetic stirrer hotplates. Only in your WET DREAMS, E - buddy.

Though, maybe you SHOULD if you want to do this. Alright. Good enough point.

Still, this is what old ZWITTERION did:

First ZWITTERION used good old Discount Auto Parts 20W-50 motor oil
(because, like the Infamous Wet Dreamer sez - "today's flasks run hotter and
rev higher" - funny, funny).

Immense smoking commenced at 150C with no sign of letting up! ZWITTERION
abandoned this as a suitable heating bath fluid.

Next, ZWITTERION sees Eleusis's repost with "gulf wax paraffin" slid in for
the heating bath.

So, ZWITTERION fires up the old Buffet Burner and throws in 1.5 boxes of
Gulf Wax (TM) paraffin. Smoking starts at about 200C this time, but it does
make it to 250C. Unfortunately, the way ZWITTERION tested the temperature at
250C was by wrapping a thermometer in Aluminum Foil so that it would be easy
to clean. BOOM!

When that Aluminum foil hit the paraffin it went up like a FUCKING FOURTH OF
JULY EXTRAVAGANZA.

ZWITTERION burned up a nice chem. catalog smothering that one.

Finally, after e-mailing Eleusis, who was no doubt feverishly masturbating
to the sight of his chemical supply cabinet at the time, he said to use DOT
5 Brake Fluid, as that is what someone else had suggested to him.

So, feeling SAUCY, ZWITTERION fired up the buffet burner for a THIRD time
and VOI-FREAKIN'-LLA. It works.

ZWITTERION wrapped the heating pot and flask, supported on a lattice, with
aluminum foil. This was to help keep the heat constant and reduce the
smoking, which, MIGHT I ADD, the brake fluid smokes as well, and is a nasty,
eye-burning smoke TOO!

Once the brake fluid hit 250C, tested WITHOUT wrapping the thermometer in
foil, ZWITTERION then added 100g of Oil of Ocotea Cymbarum to which had
already been added the required amounts of calcium oxide and potassium hyroxide.

ZWITTERION plugged the RB flask with a thermometer in a thermometer adapter,
and watched the temp climb, just as Eleusis says it should, from 232C to
250C over a period of 15 minutes.

At the expiration time, ZWITTERION noticed that the oil was a slightly
darker brownish red color instead of the golden piss-yellow color that it
started as. It was vacuum filtered, to little advantage, and then OOPS
washed with water first - WHICH IS NOT WHAT eleusis SAYS TO DO.

A VICIOUS emulsion formed which was only satisfactorily broken by adding a
lot of salt and 10% HCl.

ZWITTERION then drew off the aq. layer and the organic layer, and washed the
organic layer with 5% HCl one more time before distilling ISOSAFROLE over
the range 250-255C (ZWITTERION's thermometer ain't 100% accurate, BTW).
Yield was, oh, maybe 85%.

All in all, not a bad day's work.

E - ZWITTERION apologizes for the humor, but there just ain't TOO MANY OTHER
PEOPLE TO PICK ON.

Next on Geraldo - ZWITTERION gets in touch with his feminine side, and RAPES it.
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