Date: Mon, 22 Jul 1996 14:46:28 -0500
To: [liberty and justice] at [pobox.com], [a--t] at [efn.org], [r--c] at [xmission.com]
From: "R. Knauer-AIMNET" <[r c ktexas] at [ix.netcom.com]>
Subject: War On Inactivity

(WARNING: This is not to be read by those who are "Satirically Challenged".
There are other lists which cater to those kind of witless people by running
off those who employ satire.)

If the War on Drugs is predicated on the belief that illegal drugs are bad
for society, which is certainly true in general, then what are we to do
about the latest revelation that INACTIVITY is really bad for society too?
In fact, it was stated by Health Officials that inactivity is the number one
cause of death in America.

Yes, it's true - lack of activity, in particular physical exercise, is VERY
bad for you and society, even more so than illegal drugs. Therefore, what we
need is a War On Inactivity, patterned after the War On Drugs.

Now you patriots and civil libertarians, don't start wringing your hands -
the health of society is far more important than any illusory "freedoms" you
might have deluded yourself into thinking you have a right to.  Get real for
a change: You have no rights unless the government grants them, and the
right to be unhealthy is not granted.

Being unhealthy costs the government lots of money and competes with more
worthwhile expenditures such as rigging elections. All power comes from the
government, because government has all the power to begin with (well, almost
all the power - soon it will have it *all* when it soon completes the gun
confiscation program begun decades ago.)

The War On Inactivity will be headed by a new Department of Activity (to
replace the Department of Health and Human Services), which will have the
complete power to enforce all new regulations. From this day forward each
citizen will be issued a National Activity Logging Device with an
microprocessor to record all physical activity. Militia exercises are
expressly forbidden to be used to meet activity quotas. Once a month each
citizen will be required to download the contents of the Log to a Dept. of
Activity data bank. Covenient locations for this will be provided at all
places of employment, and employers will be required to see that all
employees are compliant.

If a citizen is found to be lacking the proper amount of activity, that
person will be incarcerated in a Bureau of Activity Training Facility (BATF)
and made to perform physical activity until rehabilitated, which will a take
a minimum 10 or 20 years. The output of that corrective activity, like in
China, will be used to enrich the national coffers. For those who think this
is akin to slavery, just remember that it is for the good of society, just
like the War On Drugs.

It must be remembered that the War On Drugs is encouraged by most citizens
who do not think it is overdone to incarcerate over one million citizens who
do not have the common sense to take care of their own health. Now we are
challenged to rid society of the expense of debilitating inactivity. All
that is required is that citizens give up a little inactivity each day. If
they do not do this, they will be placed in a correctional facility where
they will be taught how to become active very quickly.

Bob Knauer

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