From: [dor 1] at [quads.uchicago.edu] (thad a doria)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.info
Subject: PREVIEWS-O-RAMA IV. MAXIMUM-ULTIMATE+MISC. FOR 1996 MAY [SPOILERS]
Date: Sun, 10 Mar 96 06:31:32 GMT

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P R E V I E W S - O - R A M A.  IV. Maximum-Ultimate+misc.
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Shipping May 1996
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SPOILERS
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Everything contained herein is IMO. Duh, 'cuz I wrote it.

CLIP AND SAVE!
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MAXIMUM PRESS:
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Cathy Christian, model for Avengelyne, is both pregnant and naked
in the ads for Avengelyne #2 (Liefeld/Napton & Stinsman).

NEW ENGLAND COMICS:
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Tick: The Naked City GN (Edlund, Banks, Garcia). The first 100% color
Tick book. Reprints #1-6.

SIRIUS:
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Wandering Star #12 (T. Wood).

TOPPS:
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Dragonheart #1 of 4 (D. A. Kraft & Ron Lim). Adaptation of the upcoming
movie, starring Dennis Quaid & Sean Connery.

ULTIMATE PRODUCTIONS:
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Sunny: "The following preview may be tooooo *hot* for some readers!"
Hello again everyone, Vince McMahon here with Jerry "The King" Lawler
to tell you about the much-anticipated comic starring the one, the
only,...the UUUUUULLLLLLLLLLTIMATE WARRIOR!!!! We take you now to Dok
Hendrix--Snip into a Slam Jam!(1)

Thanx, Vinnie Mac'! My sources tell me this mag is gonna be drawn by
Jim Callahan, from Tekno's Lost Universe, and written by a newcomer to
the comics industry, Jimmy Hellwig! Isn't that right, Tod?

You bet, Dok! But now here's the scoop folks: the Warrior says right in
his ad that Warrior Comics will have nothing to do with the WWF! In fact,
he says they're not even about wrestling at all! Wow! Now what do you
suppose is go--what the? Bob Backlund?! What are you doing here?

Listen, PUNK! This right HERE is another EXAMPLE of the downfall of pro-
priety! FIVE pages of ads for this so-called "comical BOOK," showing off
this man's BULBOUS mounds of FLESH! This BLATANT objectificating of the
male BODY is utterly meretricious AND effluvient! You PLEBEANS won't have
things like THIS when I'M in charge!!
<UW rushes in to thunderous guitars, grabs mike from Mr. Backlund>
"YUW WULL FULL BUHFURR DUH POWUH UV DUH UUULLLTIMUHT WURRRRIUUUHHH!!!
<UW runs around, clotheslines everybody, runs back out>
(1)[Snip into a Slam Jam! is (tm) Kevin P. over on rec.sport.pro-wrestling]

P.S. to any comics pros: I want to see GOLDUST comics!! Oh, and more talk-
ing apes. "Goldust and His Talking Apes" would definitely shut me up.

META: games, toys, books, etc.
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Toys: Spawn Series IV, Jonny Quest, Star Trek: Starfleet Academy (I kid ye
not--"Cadet Troi in Stealth Assault Gear!"), and a special edition Barbie
& Ken in Star Trek TOS uniforms.

Card Games: New games- Fast Break is to basketball what GridIron was to
football (a bad, unlicensed product?).
Expansions: Middle Earth: the Dragons, Mission Control (Marvel OverPower),
The Prophets (Redemption), The Comedy Club on the Far Side of the Galaxy
(Galactic Empires)
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-end of line

"Back then, science worked in broad strokes! They got right to the
point! These days it's all molecule, molecule, MOLECULE!"



--
Thad Doria    ***Goldust Forever! Remember the name!***
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"Wow, she's saying some pretty profound stuff...I bet she's
read The Hobbit."  --Jezebel, The Mysterious One