Date: Thu, 6 Jan 1994 00:15:42 CDT
Sender: COMICS Discussion List <[COMICS L] at [UNLVM.UNL.EDU]>
From: Bill Hayes <[IANR 012] at [UNLVM.UNL.EDU]>
Subject: Volume 4 Issue 1 Part 3
January 5, 1994 The Comics List Weekly Vol. 4 No. 1 Pt. 3
But I Digress : A Cowardly Lot - Enemies of Ellison
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
(The following article appeared in Comics Buyer's Guide #1052 and is
reproduced with the author's permission. -- Bill Hayes, moderator,
[ianr 012] at [unlvm.unl.edu])
BUT I DIGRESS
by Peter David
Since we have rolled in the New Year, I've made the resolution to
try and do something nice with this column. After all, I wouldn't want
people to come to the conclusion that BUT I DIGRESS is an entity that
exists only to destroy.
Unlike some entities which I could name -- which now I will.
Something that was a popular practice back in second or third grade
was that of forming clubs as a means of hurting people. Either a bunch
of kids would get together and form a group for the specific purpose of
keeping a person, or a group of people, out. Or sometimes -- if it was
a particularly malicious little undertaking -- a club was assembled
specifically to get at someone.
This behavior generally ended somewhere around fourth grade,
although the intense socialization would live on in the forms of cliques
and such. But the "club by" aspect usually faded as maturity set in.
Sometimes, though, there are some folks of repressed development
and maturation who make it to adulthood with that same mindset -- and
that's when you wind up getting something like this:
(Line art of Enemies of Ellison logo appears here in the original
article.)
Somewhat to my astonishment, I received over my fax machine the
other day a one page flyer. It carried with it the warning, "Please
duplicate and distribute this sheet (provided no text is omitted)."
Ooo I'm scared. I'm going to omit text.
EoE disingenuously bills itself as "Not an organization for those who
wish to malign, harass, or assault Harlan Ellison. Just the opposite!
EoE is for those who have been named as enemies by Mr. Ellison and
have been maligned, harassed or assaulted, purely because (in most
cases) they spoke the truth or expressed skepticism re (sic) his
reputation, craft, or self-promotional hype...
"If you've received death threats on your answering machine...if
you've been referred to was a "wetbrain" on nationally networked
TV...if Mr. Ellison has threatened to "pop you one" next time he sees
you...if he's promised to 'sue you into oblivion'...then EoE is for you!
"To be eligible for full membership in EoE, you must be able to
prove that you have been badmouthed, punched, sued, harassed,
threatened, or lied to by Mr. Ellison...
"Every full member...receives a free bimonthly newsletter
describing recent gratuitous threats and nasty behavior by Mr. Ellison...
"Every full member will be eligible to contribute anecdotes about
Mr. Ellison to the forthcoming book, HARLAN ELLISON AS WE
KNEW HIM, a memorial tribute in preparation. Full members will be
offered copies at a 25 percent discount.
"Enemies of Ellison provides a warm sense of camaraderie. But
more than that, it will crusade for truth and justice..."
There's more, I assure you -- much more that I have not reproduced
here. It is truly an amazing piece of work: amazing in its presumption,
amazing in its arrogance, and, most important, amazing in its
cowardice.
Harlan Ellison has spent much of his life putting people's noses out
of joint. That is beyond dispute. Isaac Asimov who loved Harlan
dearly (and about whom Ellison cannot speak at length without
becoming choked up, so evil an individual is he) summed it up most
succinctly when he said, "He has no sense of tact whatsoever."
With Harlan Ellison, you always know precisely where you stand.
He does not prevaricate. He does not dissemble.
And he does not hide. And he's not a coward.
That is the first, and most remarkable, thing that one notices about
EoE: the stench of cowardice. They want your money ($14 for a full
membership). And they want your anecdotes for a book that is
apparently be designed as a "memorial tribute."
There's only one possible interpretation of that sentence: They're
waiting until Harlan Ellison is dead and then they're going to attack
him, just as one notorious comics magazine did with Carol Kalish.
They are so damned afraid of Ellison that they don't dare take him on
while he's alive. Not even strength in numbers is sufficient.
It is an amazing offer. In essence, gullible fools have the
opportunity to pay to contribute to a book from which they will not
share in any proceeds. Then, adding insult to injury (something which
they evidently excel), the EoE will sell copies back to the contributors,
keeping a mere 75 percent of the gross for itself: attacking the deceased
while profiteering at the same time. With enemies like these...
And even better: While he's alive, they're hiding behind a post
office box with no person's name attached. (I mean, you know that I'm
"To be Continued, Inc." But who are these guys?)
The man they condemn, the man they assail, the man they variously
describe as "tyrannical" and "mad-dog" is someone who has gone out
there, time after time, fighting for the things he believes in. They may
not be what you necessarily believe in. But he's out there. And when
he's upset or angry about something, he lets you know it, and you
know it because he's let you know it, because he's put it in a column or
he's left a message or he's spoken to you directly, or he's aired it on
the Sci-Fi Channel.
The man they hold in such contempt does not engage in one of the
single most contemptible actions that someone can take: anonymous
attacks.
Harlan Ellison has too much class for that.
The "Enemies of Ellison" one the other hand, do not -- which tells
you something right off about the "Enemies of Ellison."
I mean, hell, when a Todd McFarlane or Jim Valentino takes shots at
me, they've got the guts to put their names in print when they do it. By
the same token, when I rake people over the coals in this column, they
know who's done the raking.
But EoE reveals itself in its very first offering as craven and gutless.
Have its unidentified organizers earned the enmity of Harlan Ellison in
the past? I would not be at all surprised, for these are the exact sort of
cretinous little weasels with recreant mindsets that Ellison has so
despised -- loudly and repeatedly -- through the years.
I also adore the notion that, in return for $14, you'll get a "free
bimonthly newsletter." Now, granted, you also get a badge,
membership card, and certificate. The total cost of such chachkas
should be somewhere in the neighborhood of under two bucks per set.
That leaves $12 over of the "free" newsletter -- and since it's an annual
membership, that means next year you have to cough up another $14
for another six issues of the "free" newsletter sans chachkas.
If the anonymous organizers of EoE have exercised this sort of
sterling business tactic in other dealings, that also might have gotten
them on the short end of Harlan's critical stick. For Harlan Ellison does
not suffer fools gladly. In a world where we should be endeavoring to
raise people's intellectual striving rather than sending them tumbling
into the mud, Ellison's attitude should be lauded rather than attacked.
Let me be perfectly up front here (something that might be alien to
the EoE if I haven't already lost them). Harlan Ellison is a friend of
mine. The first time we made contact was a number of years ago. In
the pages of CBG, of the Holiday Supplement (it was before my
column) I listed THE ESSENTIAL ELLISON as a good potential
Christmas gift in that yearly "Top Five" thing CBG always does. Much
to my astonishment, he sought out my phone number and called me to
thank me profusely for doing so.
He didn't have to do that, nor was I expecting him to. And, I must
admit -- as so many have in the past -- I'd heard all sorts of "horror
stories" about Harlan Ellison. So it was with great wonderment that,
over the past several years, I've made the increased acquaintance and
friendship of one of the most exciting and challenging gentlemen it has
ever been my pleasure to know. My wife, Myra, adores both Harlan
and his wife, Susan. My eldest daughter, Shana, has a standing
invitation to visit the Ellisons for a week.
And God help me if I'm ever in the Los Angeles area and I don't let
him know, because somehow he will find out -- and he will find out,
make no mistake -- and he'll call me at the hotel and demand to know
when I'm coming over to visit.
He has been the source of advice and inspiration to me since that first
contact. Moreover, he took the time to write the introduction to the
BUT I DIGRESS trade paperback (on sale in February, kids!). This
column owes its existence, as I've said in the past, to my endeavor to
try to emulate him.
So I'm not exactly unbiased here.
When I first started the column and asked readers to suggest topics,
several people wrote in (all unknowing of my friendship with Harlan)
and said that I should write a column attacking Ellison. I wonder how
many of these people actually had met Harlan. Had dinner with him.
Chatted with him. Spent any time with him at all. Or did they simply
believe -- as, admittedly, I once had -- the rumor and innuendo spread
by the types of people who would organize an EoE?
Is Harlan Ellison a saint? God, no. Not by any means. But neither is
he the single-minded "bombast(ic)" or "blowhard" individual that the
EoE would portray.
So -- how to deal with the lily-livered pismires of the EoE?
Here's how.
I am announcing, right here, right now, the organization of my own
group" Friends of Ellison (or FOE). (I'd originally thought of calling it
"Friends of Harlan Plus Also Susan," which would have made FOH
PAS," but I decided that was a long way to go for a joke that only a
handful of people would likely get.)
The FOE will exist for the purpose of disseminating stories about
kindness that Harlan Ellison has displayed. To join FOE, simply send
in instances of times when Ellison has made you laugh or made you
think. Where he signed autographs for many hours, or answered
questions patiently and thoughtfully. Worked on behalf of a charity or
to help someone in need. The FOE would like to hear from fans,
professionals, convention organizers, casual readers -- everybody.
I will produce FOE buttons and send them to everyone who sends in
anecdotes along the lines of the above. (Kind of the flip side of the
"Stickler for Credit" buttons, I suppose. See? I destroy, and I also
create.) Address them to "FOE, c/o To Be Continued, P.O. Box 239,
Bayport, N.Y. 11705." Every so often, I'll produce a column that lists
the accounts of good deeds that Harlan has performed and will also
send copies of the column to everyone who has joined FOE -- a free
newsletter, if you will.
How much to join? Nothing more than the 29 cents it will cost you
to mail an envelope. Yes, that's right: It's free. Free as in "not costing
anything," rather than free as in "send us 14 bucks." Free as in "I'm
absorbing the cost of this myself because I tend to put my own money
behind those things I believe in." Something that the Enemies of Ellison
cannot claim.
Then again, the best things in life are free.
(Peter David, writer of stuff, hereby gives the following limited
permission in order to simplify life: In order to encourage the widest
possible dissemination of this column, this specific column of BUT I
DIGRESS may be reproduced and distributed without any further
request for permissions from "To Be Continued..., Inc." The column
remains copyright (C) 1994 "To Be Continued, Inc.")
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End part 3, more to follow this evening...