The Battle of Big City
                                
I'm sitting on the floor of the Convention Center hallway,
surreptitiously plugged into a stray outlet. I have battery envy.
Scott McCloud and Kurt Busiek will be reading their _Battle of
Lexington_ tonight at midnight. If I don't get this done _now_,
I'll be up all night. And I don't feel like going over to the
drugged-out con suite.

Death is all things to all people. This is why she gains weight
when her t-shirt is worn by, eh, _larger_ folks.

I dressed, this morning, like Jack Kirby drew: undershorts;
sunglasses; shirt; watch; socks; hat; shorts. Voila! Sharp-
dressed man. And after three days of not taking any baths, you
can't breathe in the same room as _me_, either.

Except that my hat freaks out Donna Barr.

_Flashback_. I just missed the bus (I've _perenially_ missed the
bus). I'm going to be late for room eight and _The State of
California vs. Paul Mavrides_. I'm Len Wein, and I'm late.

"I could never hurt animals," she says, "or people, or children."
In that order?


*The State of California vs. Paul Mavrides*
The California Board of Equalization--the state tax folks--have
defined original comic book pages as "commercial art". They are
saying that comics are not literature. They're doing this in
order to tax it, but the repercussions--that comics can be
subject to legislation and regulation that literature cannot--
will be far reaching. Could being "only" a commercial artist have
an impact on an obscenity bust? When you're merely a commercial
art vendor rather than an artist or author?

"The state was very mechanistic. It was clear that I was going to
be made a precedent. They promised me that this was what they
were going to do."

"For the first year we were only discussing the nature of comics.
They weren't even aware of the content of my work. They didn't
care about my work. They make no distinction between Disney and
underground comics."

It's been hard to get the industry and fan base in California
interested in this. "A lot of people don't like to think about
this problem. They just close their ears." But, "a loss in this
case would affect the industry top to bottom." It could stifle
the entire San Diego Con. "If pros make a deal here, the
transaction is in California. The next three years of comics are
being determined downstairs right now. All that will be taxable,"
meaning that deals won't be made in California. "No matter what
bizarre scenario you think of," the tax folks have figured out a
way to make money on it. "If an FBI agent came to your door, you
wouldn't be as scared as if an IRS agent came. The state sales
tax people are even worse." The IRS can come in whenever the want
to--warrants aren't necessary.

Paul has had to put a lot of stuff on hold in order to handle
this case. "Defacto-wise, I'm already being censored. I've had to
put big projects on hold because of the time I need to spend
dealing with this."

What's being done? First of all, the back taxes that the Board of
Equalization claims he owes have been paid. Now it's a matter of
forcing them to recognize comics are literature, at which point
the money will be returned. A brief has been submitted to the
state Board of Equalization. The ACLU has joined with the Comic
Book Legal Defense Fund, which, up til now, has been attempting
to cover the legal expenses. The ACLU is preparing an _amicus
curiae_, or "friend of the court" briefing.

There will be a press conference, tentatively set for August
25th. "Sunshine is where they're going to, like a fungus,
disappear." Both the main Board officials are in elected
positions. "We're going to put this in their face."

They have discussed getting legislative clarification of the
regulations, but that can be dangerous, as anyone can add to
whatever is introduced, and there's no control over, for example,
what the clarification gets attached to.

They are looking for signatures for an informal petition. And if
you're a cartoonist, you can take the header of the petition and
draw your character underneath it. If you're going to sign or
draw, it needs to be back to the law firm (you can probably get
it to them through the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund) before the
press conference.

"They've already spent far more than they'll ever get from me for
the next ten years. They're not interested in _my_ money, they
want _yours_."

They're being joined by the _Association of American Editorial
Cartoonists_ and the _National Cartoonists Society_.

This is important. It is the state of California saying that
_comics are not literature_. Write! Contribute! Tell your
friends! Sign the petition! You can also take the petition to a
comic book store or library. The American Library Association is
"one of the fiercest defenders of the first amendment."

Obligatory Lawyer Joke from Paul's lawyer:

Monday morning, the secretary for attorney Robert Johnson picks
up the phone.

"I'd like to speak to Mr. Johnson."

"Mr. Johnson isn't with us anymore."

"Look, I called Friday and got the runaround. You told me to call
Monday morning. I'm calling. I've got some things to tell him."

"I don't think you understood, sir. Mr. Johnson isn't with us: he
was at the American Lawyers awards dinner Sunday night and choked
on a cherry pit. He's _dead_."

"Oh. Okay."

The next morning, the guy calls again.

"I'd like to speak to Mr. Johnson."

"Sir, I told you yesterday, he's dead."

"Okay." He hangs up.

Wednesday morning, the same thing. Thursday morning. Finally, on
Friday morning, she says, "Look, I've been telling you all week,
Mr. Johnson is _dead_. Why do you keep calling?"

"I just like hearing you say that."

ba-dump _dum_.


*Understanding Comics vs. Marvels: It Started in Junior
High School*
*Kurt Busiek's* mom had three rules: no comics, television, or
candy. It held until he was old enough to ignore her. He was
right in the middle of four sisters--two older, two younger.

Comics weren't forbidden in *Scott McCloud's* house: they weren't
even on the radar.

What was the first comic where you said, "I could do better than
this!"? Kurt's was a _Daredevil_ comic, an early Bullseye
appearance, before Frank Miller made it interseting. Bullseye
strapped Daredevil to a giant pink crossbow. "Marv Wolfman wrote
that issue, and _he_ can do better than that, too."

Scott's was X-_Men #94_, because of Jim Steranko's art. "This
is really cool. All these great foreshortenings, and psychedelic
effects. This guy is really great. I could do better than that."

"Why not shoot high? We didn't get to the moon by becoming really
great mountain climbers."

Scott's characters have never been particularly anatomical... "I
was busy revolutionizing the medium. I didn't have time for thigh
bones or clavicles."

_What classes did you take in hich school that enhanced your
comic writing and drawing?_

Kurt: "Lunch."

Scott: "That's not so frivoulous. It was in the off hours that we
learned the most. We had to learn it in the schoolyard."

"The best way to learn comics", added Kurt, "is to get out and
fight about what comics should be about."

_What are the best and worst comics you've read?_

Kurt's best was Milton Caniff's _Terry and the Pirates_ from 1934-
1946. The worst? "I've forgotten."

Scott equivocated with a list including Larry Marder's _Beanworld
#4_, Jim Woodring's anything, and the book he's been
pushing all week, Jason Lutes' _Jar of Fools_. He, also, has
forgotten the worst.

The worst is the boring stuff that you don't remember. When it
gets _really_ bad, it's _good_. Kurt remembers one from _Exciting
Comics_, called _The Black Terror_. The over was the Black Terror
in a limousine and a ticker-tape parade, with the banner, _The
Black Terror for President_. "Guy's, I don't think you get the
idea. He's a _terror_. He's supposed to be _frightening_." He
also had the greatest origin of all time. There was this
communist fifth-column stuff happening, and this pharmacist, he
couldn't do anything about it. So he mixed up all the drugs in
his stop, and _took_ them. This is what gave him superpowers.
He's probably been lying in a hospital for the entire time
_hallucinating_ his adventures.

_What are you doing next?_

Scott: "I have the night terrors. This is the best book I could
possibly do on this. I'm thirty-three. I'm touring. It's like
Vietnam. This convention is the end of the convention season, and
I have six whole weeks before England." Ivy says, "Scott has no
idea what his next project is. All he knows is he begins work on
it in a week."

Kurt: "The editors were so impressed by my work on _Marvels_ that
I was offered _Ectokid_. The only people who called me up were
the Image folks. I'll be doing _Youngblood Year One_, with Todd
Liefeld. It's a Washington political intrigue novel with hitting
in it. Youngblood is not the Justice League and it is not the
Avengers and this is why."

The book he's been wanting to do "since before I knew I wanted to
do it" is Astro City. "I'm jinxing it by announcing it without a
deal", but he'll be talking with a few people right after this
seminar. "It's all mine!" I may be a craven little writer, but
I'm a _greedy_ craven little writer. "All the stories I've wanted
to do but couldn't are in Astro City."

_In ten to fifteen years, what will be the physical form of
comics?_

"Print is technology," Scott said, "and I think we're going to
see something new come along. There's a real big wave coming and
it's going to change comics forever. It's going to change comics
from head to toe, on every level."

"I don't care," says Kurt. "Whatever format they're in, they'll
still have stories."


*Underdog Under the Sails*
It's the thirtieth anniversary of Underdog. With the Coronado
bridge in the background, Suzanne flies to the rescue of a bad
sound system. Ballet is great. Underdog is great. Two great
tastes that taste great together? Julius Schwartz would say, _we
need more action. Where's the fights?_ Well, the photos
of the sequined Underdog costume will look good in the
retrospectives next year.


*Bob, the Masquerade*
What, you say? You saw me walking a lady to the masquerade?
That's no lady, that's Tyg! I'll admit, I'm a net.golddigger. It was
just for the _pro_ seating that Tom, in his net-goddedness, can
pass out.

Pros say the _cutest_ things.

"I just made Alan Davis move from the peon section. He's
important, he should be with us."

Movies to watch out for? Frankenstein, with Robert DeNiro as the
monster, directed by Kenneth Brannach. Brannaugh. Oh, I can't
remember. Tyg's beauty is scrambling my mind.

*Scott Shaw!* and his travelling freak show known as
_Esoteric Comics_ is a must-see. My personal favorite was the
_Gorilla_ theme carousel. I still have my all-gorilla _DC
Superstars_ locked in a safe in the midwest.

Strange things happen at the witching hour. Tonight is the
_Battle of Lexington_, by Kurt Busiek and Scott McCloud. At
midnight I drag Kathy Li out of room 7 to head on over to room 8
for the Battle... someone asks me if "this is the room for
_Lexington_." No, it's room 8. "My guide says seven, I think."
Sure enough, hers says seven. They must've changed it. Need to
check to see which of our guides is the newest.

Mine says seven also. So do my notes. Hey, it's midnight. I picked
the wrong day to give up drinking caffeine.

We did get to scare the daylights out of Sky McCloud. Picture a
bazillian crazed fans, up since past midnight the last three
days, trying to play with a one-and-a-half year old kid who's up
_way_ past her bedtime. She had fun reeling in dad's microphone
cord later on.

_The Battle of Lexington_ is the first comic Scott and Kurt
collaborated on. In high school. Between classes. As Donna Barr
says far too often, "Now I know why they shoot collaborators."

Jerry Stratton

[j--r--y] at [teetot.acusd.edu]

"Now that my bockwurst is a sauerkraut transfer station, would
anyone be inconvenienced if I _ate_ it?"--Pfirsich Rommel