Apologies to Ragni, Rado, and MacDermot:

I met a boy named John Kerry
On January 19, right here
in the Iowa caucuses.
But unfortunately
He lost at the polls.

He was last seen with his friend
a lawyer, he resembles Fred Gwynne of
the Munsters
But he won’t concede
until the last vote has come back.

I love him, but it embarasses me
to fake army records for him.
He lives in Boston somewhere
and swears Ohio might swing it.

He has three purple hearts on his Navy jacket,
and on the back are written the names,
Mary
and Poe
and Dick Cheney.

I would gratefully
appreciate it if you see him, tell him
I’m on his lawn with my film crew
and please…

Tell him Michael Moore and I
don’t want the lost election back,
Just him!

Sorry about this, but this has been running through my head; by making it available to you, I can purge it from my system.