From: [d--n--m] at [magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu] (Dave Van Domelen, OBE, MT, MT and MT)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.misc
Subject: Annotated Cherry's Jubilee #3
Date: 10 Jul 1993 01:41:40 GMT

WARNING: This article annotates a pornographic comic book.  If you are under 
18, don't bother reading this article, because it's illegal for you to buy the 
comic, and if someone buys it for you they can be nailed with charges of 
Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor, so just forget it.  Also, if you 
are of the belief that all pornography is Evil and will Destroy Society As We
Know It etc, don't bother reading this article either...you're not gonna buy 
the comic, so why bother?  Now, if there were an alt.comics.erotic or 
alt.comics.NC17 I'd post there, but I've never seen such a group (although I've
seen alt.sex.aluminum.baseball.bat once I think...brrrr).  That makes this, by 
default, the 'proper' posting forum, although not everyone reading it is of 
age.  Actually, given the number of X-Men references, it almost belongs on 
.xbooks, but that probably has an even younger reader base.
     ANYWAY....








     The Annotated Cherry's Jubilee #3 - compiled by Dave Van Domelen

     Not all of this comic will be annotated, as not all of it has stuff to 
annotate.  Covered in this annotation will be the Front and Inside Front 
covers, the Back Cover, the Lead Story and a gloss past the Fourth Story.

     Cover: Standard "bursting onto the scene" (or would that be busting?) 
superhero comic cover.  Cherry is striking a Significant Kirby Pose and Patty 
resembles Feral.
     Inside Front Cover: The Posse members are described.  Cherry is the Leader
archetype (power is Charisma, among other talents).  Ellie Dee is the 
cyberhacker type, with martial arts and gadget skills (kinda like Forge).  Lola
is the Punisher type.  Patty is the Wolverine/Feral/Tigra/Panta stereotypical 
animalistic super.
     Back Cover: Death of Superham by irony.  Superham (not a pig, looks just 
like Kal El except for finger count) is run over by a locomotive of the 1940's 
look as Cherry arrives too late.

     Main Story: Written by Marv Wolfman (just Marv in credits), Art by Welz.

Splash page: Mating Comics and AC/DC (both done in style of current logos) 
present "The Battle of the Century YOU Demanded!  The Uncommon XXX-Men vs. The 
Testosterone Titans"  Story title is "This Man, This Orgasm" in parody of a 
bajillion old Marvel titles.  Art is standard "Both teams lined up against each
other" breakdown.  Apparent from this page is that three of each group will be 
used: parodies of Starfire, Nightwing, Changeling (Titans), Colossus, Wolverine
and Storm (X-Men).  The Nightwing parody is the only one whose costume varies 
significantly from the original.

Page 1:
     Panel 1: left of Ned Mylar's head is the cover of Uncanny X-Men #? with 
the most recent Brood infestation.  It shows Wolverine in an angstful position 
as he turns into a Brood (despite #163 showing he can't because of his 
skeleton).  Just right of Ned's head is a locked cage with "Super Guy" in it, 
presumably supposed to be Superman #75.  In Ned's hands is the comic from the 
Splash Page.  To the right of Cherry is either a cover or a pinup of the 
current X-Men, with Rogue prominent and Bishop, Jean Grey and Iceman (?) 
visible.  However, I can't place where it's from.  Ned's dialogue, "Just LOOK 
at this, Cherry!  Comicdom's two best-selling superhero teams *together at 
last!*" seems to be either wishful thinking or nostalgia on Marv's part.  I 
don't think Titans sells that well anymore.  At least I hope not.
     Panel 2: Left edge of panel is a poster with the cover of X-Men 
(pre-Uncanny) #50, featuring Lorna Dane.  Art by (I think) Steranko.  Ned's 
shirt is unreadable from this angle, and is one of the few times the front is 
even visible (it changes each time it is visible).  In lower left hand corner 
is barely visible a box marked "Roger Rabbit stuff."  All other labeled boxes 
have fake names on them, like "Airhead Magazine" and "Fanboy Magazine."
     Panel 3: X-Men 50 poster again, and poster in upper right hand becomes 
slightly more visible.  It is for some Japanese thing called "KO____ Z____" 
with only the given letters visible.  Also some kanji are visible, but I can't 
read them.  Box under Cherry's left elbow is labeled "Fabulous 4Our" a 
Fantastic Four reference.  Ned's dialogue slams the speculator market, "I 
bought over a hundred copies, so *next month* when they're *rare*, I'll sell 
'em all to suckers who weren't as *smart* as me."
     Panel 4: Ned's shirt says "Beam me up Scotty" and has a bit of a Spock 
head visible.  Ned refers to a 212 page comic with a 211 page fight scene, 
calling it the third longest superhero fight scene.  Possible reference to 
2112?
     Panel 5: Ned is holding a copy of Giant Sized Man-Thing (was there even 
one?) while talking about Miller's Batman, McFarlane's Spawn and the GSMT he 
holds.

Page 2:
     Panel 1: With a burst of Kirby Krakl, Cherry snaps her fingers, 
transporting them to....
     Panel 2: "Jack Kirby City!"
     Panel 3: Welz does a passable Kirby imitation here.  Main figure is 
Orgasmus, a parody of Galactus, with appropriate modifications to his costume.
His hunger must be sated by draining the sexual energies of the planet, instead
of the life energies.  Other bits: near Orgasmus's right leg is King Kong.  On 
the other side of the leg is a trashcan in place of the standard water tower.  
Just under the can is a parody of Camels ads, with the similarity between Joe 
Camel's face and a phallus emphasized.  The sign partially obscures the name of
the bank it is in front of, the Bank of TO___, third letter may be R or K, 
fourth is probably I, last has a flat bottom.  Next to the trashcan is a milk 
carton for a building.  To the right of the Camels sign is peeling paper 
showing this to be a 'set'.
     Panel 4: "Sensational Sexual-Man #3" refers to Sensational Spider-Man, 
although Galactus first appeared in FF, not PPTSSM.  Ned's shirt has an X of 
some sort on it.

Page 3:
     Panel 1: The XXX-Men arrive.  Hotflash (Storm) and Colossex (Colossus) are
named.  The Wolverine figure is giving Orgasmus the 'finger' with his 
extendable metal dildo (in place of claws) with sound effect "FKKKK!"
     Panel 2: "Colossex has the power to encase his body in impenetrable 
Vibratium Steel..."
     Panel 3: "Enabling him to become a full-metal dildo!"  Power effect same 
as Colossus, except his head is replaced by a phallus.  "Snap! Crackle! 
Popski!" FX parody the "Russian" motif Piotr has had in excess at times.
     Panel 4: "By the Czar!" instead of "By the White Wolf!"
     Panel 5-6: The Transsexual Surfer, basically Nova and Silver Surfer in one
being as far as the reader can tell here, although later revealed to be more of
a cosmic-powered T2000 type.  Colossex's ejaculation of "Lenin's Ghost" is 
typical of Piotr (yes, pun intended).

Page 4:
     Panel 2: Vaseline's name revealed.  Transsexual Surfer grows extra mouth 
to deal with his attack.
     Panel 3: Apparently, unlike Wolverine, Vaseline's 'claws' are a part of 
him, and possess nerve endings.
     Panel 4: Vaseline's power is to "come again and again and again!", a 
variation on Wolverine's healing factor.
     Panel 5: Littering the ground by Colossex are a jackknife, a tube of crazy
glue, a tube of "Wenn's Weld-All", a "Trojan Super Hefty" and a socket wrench 
set.  Probably his 'first aid' kit.  Also, his costume inexplicably disappears 
in this panel.

Page 5:
     Panel 1: Hotflash reveals her power to cause hotflashes as a form of mind 
control.
     Panel 2: VERY Kirby pose, although Kirby probably would have left out the 
Surfer's phallus.

Page 6:
     Panel 1: by Cherry's hip, "Superhero Supply, Inc" store.
     Panel 2: Leftmost building is a fountain pen.  The one to its right is a 
Koh-I-Noor technical pen (this one is obviously for those *really* wide lines)
Rightmost building is "Kirby Co. Vacuum Cleaners" and has an on-off and channel
switch.  Surfer is surrounded in Kirby Krakl, and several spent condoms at 
Hotflash's feet.  Subtle safe-sex message, eh?

Page 7:
     Panel 1: Testosterone Titans enter the 'fray' (although I don't think Groo
would think of it as a fray).  Nightwing's cable is attached to his wrist, 
either a surfer thing or bondage.  Starsucker (Starfire) and Suckling 
(Changeling) named.  Nightwing's character is wearing an Elvonic sequined 
jumpsuit, and Starsucker's hair trails out behind her in Starfire fashion.  
Suckling's outfit says "Lycra" on it.
     Panel 2: Nightwang named.  There's a Dixon pencil between two of the 
buildings.
     Panel 3: Starsucker is of the Tamaramitin race, bred for endless sex.
     Panel 4: A Tropicana juice carton is one of the buildings, and the one to
its right is a nonrechargeable battery.  There's a billboard for "Maryann
Faithful Candybars" a reference I don't get.

Page 8:
     Panel 1: By the ruined Port Authority sign, we see the battle takes place
in Newark.  Below Starsucker's legs is a sign for Passports While-U-Wait.

Page 9:
     Panel 1: Nightwang's appearance looks disturbingly like he was drawn by
Valentino.
     Panel 2: Suckling's power is revealed as the ability to change into any
horny sexual creature at will.
     Panel 3: Surfer show to be full metamorph as he matched Suckling's chosen 
species of dog.

Page 10: The heroes are drained and defeated, is there no hope?  Who's book it 
this, silly?  Yep, Cherry enters the fray.

Page 11:
     Panel 5: Background items include the Batwing, an Orgasmus PEZ Dispenser 
(eww), a paintbrush and bottle of white-out, a few Legos, an occupied outhouse,
a baseball and alot of Kirby Krakl.

Page 12:
     Panel 1: Orgasmus's belt buckle says "Let's Rodeo."
     Panel 3: his neckpiece says "Voit" a sports product TM.
     Panel 4: his helmet has the words "Virtuum by Nintendo" on it as the 
background becomes Kirby Space.

Page 13:
     Panel 2: Colossex's costume is back.  Cherry has 'sated' Orgasmus and 
saved the world.

Of course, the whole idea of this story was to take a standard comicbook story 
and follow George Carlin's advice of replacing violence with sex.  It does 
pretty well.

Fourth Story: "Pulp-Chritude" a parody of Edgar Rice Burroughs stuff.  
Backgrounds are either scanned or the whole thing was photographed after drawn 
cutouts were put in front of photo backgrounds.  Art by Dan Vogel (Strips, 
opening story in one of the Who's Who in the LSH).  Does a Tarzan parody 
(Prozac), the "Scientist going to the Center of the World to find the Savage 
Untamed World" thing, and ends on Mars.  Notable bit is on page 3, where two 
monkeys say "Chim Chim" followed by the third saying "Spreital".  Spreital is 
that annoying kid brother in Speed Racer who had the 'pet' monkey Chim-Chim.

     And that's that!

     Dave Van Domelen, if you're under 18 and get this far, SHAME ON YOU! }->